A time to cherish

It never fails, every time someone stops to admire my pretty little girls, I hear the same thing. It seems like anyone with older children always has one piece of advice “enjoy this time with them, it goes by fast”. When you are four nights straight without any sleep because someone is sick or teething, the last thing you wish is for this “enjoyable” time to go any slower than it already is. This piece of advice really didn’t hit me until I opened the UPS box full of party supplies. In a few weeks my oldest will be seven. Then I looked over at the little one crying because she is learning how to stand and has fallen over again. I just had her. And now she is almost walking. Then it hit me like a hurricane. I was in tears. They really really do grow up so fast. They each have little things they do that I want to enjoy today, and hope I remember much later on. Things like when I paint my nails and my big girl comes in and says “I want my nails red too, because i want mine to look like yours.” I forget when I am yelling and angry, and stomping around that I am her example. I forget how much she really looks up to me and wants to be my carbon copy. One of these days, too soon from now, she will be expressing herself in ways I wont understand and she will be her own person. I will then be some outdated version of what she used to look up to and adore. I am excited about that day, to see what all my hard work has created, but I can not imagine her not being a little girl anymore. When it comes to adoring their mommy my littlest one really takes the cake. In her eyes I am all there is. Most of the time when she cries, all she really needs is me. She needs me to drop everything and give her my undivided attention. I complain about how busy she keeps me and how I sometimes cannot get a minute to myself. Everything from getting dressed or going to the bathroom gets more difficult when you have a baby. But she LOVES me, I mean really loves me. I get the best feeling when I open her door in the morning. The second she sees that mommy is there to pick her up her face lights up. No matter what kind of mood I am in, or how much sleep I lost the night before, that smile never fails to turn my day around. I am her whole world. She does not care that I am wearing my ratty pajamas, or that my hair is a mess, all I have to do is show up. How often do you get the chance to have someone love you that much? With young children you never feel unloved, unwanted, or unnecessary. Time hanging out with Mommy never gets old no matter what we do. They are never any less excited that I am around. I love that about them right now. But one day they wont care about having me around. Hanging out with me will be the last thing on their minds. So I am glad I have all those fellow parents everywhere I go reminding me that I need to cherish this little bit of time I have. How old were your children when you started noticing they no longer needed your attention? How did you handle it?

Oh lazy day

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It is 10:20 am and I am on my second cup of coffee. Everyone is hungry (except for the baby of course), and I am still in my nightgown and robe. I have no intention of getting up anytime soon. I will not change out of my pajamas and I will enjoy this cup of coffee.

 On a normal weekday I have accomplished several things by now. Normally, by now I have been up for over four hours, gotten dressed, gotten two other people dressed, fed four people, done the dishes,  and have taken out the trash, if it is Wednesday.

 Not today though, because today is Sunday. I am following the same routine I do on Saturdays. I didn’t get out of my pajamas yesterday until after  11. I love the weekends. When it is the weekend I can sleep in until 7 and sometimes 8, if I am lucky. In parentland this is “sleeping in”. If you have kids, you can understand.

The weekends carry an unspoken credo between my family and I. The house is a mess from yesterday when I did not clean, there are dirty dishes in the sink, no one has eaten, and I am sitting on the couch writing this blog and watching HGTV, but no one blinks an eye.

There are many other benefits that come with the weekend. My favorite one is that Sunday is daddy’s diaper day.  Monday-Saturday I change all the diapers, every one, without complaint. In exchange, on Sunday daddy changes all the diapers.  It’s the best idea I’ve ever had.

In a little bit I will say “Babe I am hungry” and, because he is awesome and because he understands that today is my day to be lazy, Babe will respond back “ok, what should we get?”  

It’s not like during the week when I feel like having a lazy day. There are days when the baby doesn’t sleep too much, or I am overwhelmed with laundry, or days I have spent running errands, paying the bills and have forgotten to thaw something out. On days like that I just don’t feel like cooking.

When he comes home and realizes there will be no dinner, I see nothing but disappointment written all over his face.  I will ask if we can just order something and as disappointed as he is, he complies. I will usually exaggerate a headache or use menstrual cramps as an excuse just to lighten the burden of guilt, but today I don’t have to do that.

I am going to get up and get dressed now. I was just told that Shari’s sounded good for breakfast and that we should go. I am going to have the French toast.

Happy Sunday to all you moms out there! I hope you are able to enjoy a lazy day!

Why You Should Never, Ever, Ever Get A Tattoo (but Having a Baby is Fine)

I loved reading this post and thought some of my readers (that’s you!) might like it too, especially all you moms out there. Enjoy!

The Ugly Volvo

I’m not super pro-tattoo or anti-tattoo.  I’ve debated getting one in the past but never that seriously.  But my mother is vehemently anti-tattoo.  Listed below are the reasons my mother has always given me for why I shouldn’t get a tattoo.

And I understand that she’s from a different generation.  And I love my mother very much.  She’s a really wonderful person and I’m not saying none of them is a legitimate reason, but I’m saying that after having a child, I find it really hard to take any of them seriously.

And so in case you were headed out to the tattoo parlor as we speak, here are:

10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER GET A TATTOO ACCORDING TO MY MOTHER (but having a baby is fine)

1.  “A Tattoo is Forever”

Yes, a tattoo is forever.  Totally forever!  Except that a tattoo can, if needed, be erased with a laser.

 *Some of you read that and immediately thought, "I am so exhausted, please I need a laser that can temporarily erase a three year-old," but sorry, that is not a thing that exists.  
No…

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Cat Fight

Cat Fight

I’d like to touch on a subject that affects a lot of mothers today. The choice or dilemma you face when balancing being a mother and being working girl. (In the sense of the workplace not like “Pretty Woman” or anything. Unless that’s your thing, no judgment.)

Like I said in my introduction I am currently playing the role of a stay at home mother. This is something I am having such a hard time adjusting with. Part of the reason is because I have this feeling like time is slipping away and I will never have the chance to live again. The other part is because I feel like I am somehow losing my coolness or importance in the world. I feel like there is so much negativity surrounding the mom who just stays home with her kids.

These days I shutter every time I hear someone ask “what do you do now?” or “what are you up to these days?”
I duck my head down and I almost mumble “oh I’m just at home taking care of my girls right now”.
I always the get the polite response, “oh that must be nice”.

I know what most of you are thinking “Another one bites the dust. She took the easy way out. She’ll never be the same again. You are no longer successful and I feel bad for you because you gave all that up for kids. What a loser.”

Of course I know that what I am doing is very important and I also know I am still way cool, but I don’t feel like it when I hop onto facebook and see all my kick-ass, and taking name friends doing just that, kicking ass in the world and taking names. I can’t help but think “hey, I used to do that, that’s what I need to be doing. I need to do that now! Why am I here? I need a drink”.

I also do love the fact that I am there every day after school to pick up my Caleyn, and I am there every morning when they both get up, and I have the time to love and cuddle with them without having to rush out the door. I remember the shame and sadness I felt when there was I time I couldn’t do those things. I feel like I am standing in between two different women fighting for my attention. At different times I am in the middle, reassuring both of them “hang in there, your time will come”. Meanwhile they are yelling and pointing, “Back off bitch! It’s my time to shine right now!” They’re both bloody and beaten with fists full off hair and I’m looking at that bottle of wine on the counter whispering “hang in there, your time will come”.

Now when faced with the decision to stay home or not I knew what I needed to choose. I knew staying home with my baby was something that would be important for my youngest one to experience, for a while at least if nothing else. I was hardly ever around my oldest when she was a baby and my schedule looked like this:

Get up at 6:30am, feed her, dress her, get her to daycare (which I worked at by the way). Then go to class from 8:00-1:30, then go to work from 2-9:00pm, go to bed and start over again.

That was how I spent my first years with her. The entire time I felt like the worst mom ever because I never saw her. If I came into work and she accidentally saw me I’d have to keep walking and pretend like I didn’t hear anything because I had work to do. I had no choice because we’d be out on the streets if I did not work my ass off. I also understood the importance of school and knew that was something I could not put off. The whole time all I wanted was a job I could have without feeling like I was neglecting my daughter.

I eventually built up a career where it was possible for me to work some and be home some. It took a few years but I got there. I had finally found balance. I loved my job and I loved having the time to be a mom to my daughter. Of course, the fact that she started school really helped because that block of time away from her was mandatory and I no longer felt guilty for dropping her off in the morning. But I found the balance I had desperately been seeking.

But then what happens after all that hard work to build a career and take all those names? I found out I am going to become a mom again. “Greeeaaaat!” I thought at first. “What am I going to do?” I had those two chicks going at it again. “She can’t give up what we’ve worked so hard for, forget it, let’s search for daycares Amy” then the other shouts back “I don’t think so, remember how that felt the first time Amy, we’re not doing that again”.

Eventually the mom in me won. I could not bear to see the hurt I’m my child’s eye’s every time I whisked off to work. I couldn’t help but remember the pain I felt deep down every time I had to walk away. So I chose where I am now. For the most part I am really glad I did. But it is not easy, and I still wish I were out there in the world making a name for myself.

I think the main problem I suffer from is the fact that I am, once again, living without any balance between the two. I am currently living one extreme, just one the other side of the spectrum. But, I cannot pick sides. I need to find a some mutual agreement between these to chicks that cannot get along. Bitches be crazy you know.

So for all of you other moms out there struggling with this conundrum, hang in there. Nothing is permanent as long as you don’t allow it to be. No matter which end if the spectrum you are on, find a way to creat some balance.

It may take a little bit of time, and a little bit of wine, but there are ways we can make it happen, and that’s why we rock.

Introduction to me

Hi! I’m glad you stopped by. I wanted to open this blog with a little bit of an introduction to myself and what you’ll be reading about on this blog. So here we go.

Me!
Mommas all around the world have taught us all not to air out our dirty laundry for all to see. But i was also taught that there is a time and a p,ace for everything. I figured this would be a great place and time to do so. My name is Amy. This blog is about my life, my opinions and thoughts about life in general. I am 26 years old. I have two daughters and am currently a stay at home mom. This is a temporary situation for me but I feel there’s lots to learn while I’m here doing it. I feel lucky enough to have this opportunity to stay home with my girls but to be honest it drives me crazy sometimes. I am from Texas but am currently living in Cheyenne Wyoming. It has been almost a year but the lifestyle and climate change have been a big adjustment. I’m still working on getting used to them both.

My family

I have am amazing boyfriend named Wes. We have known each other for over five years now and have been dating for almost two. We celebrated our first year anniversary with a baby. Baby Harlee. She is currently nine months old. Most everything about my life right now  currently revolves around her. Then there is my oldest daughter Caelyn. She is six years old, soon to be seven. I owe most of my seasoned parenting skills to her. She was my guinea pig. I messed up a lot in her early years, so I am trying to make up for that lost time now.

What you can expect from my posts

You can expect to read about life mostly. Just my day-to-day craziness, or boringness (as I’ve found occurs a lot when you’re a stay at home mom). I like to read, A LOT, and drink wine A LOT. So I plan on posting about books and wine every now and then. Although i have only been on this planet for a short time and am still considered to be young i feel like i have plenty to talk about when it comes to life’s ups and downs. It’s like Dolly Parton said “if you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past”. BY the way, if you haven’t watched Steel Magnolias you should download it, rent it, or find it somewhere fast. Great great movie. Anyways I am hoping some of my stories will affect you in some positive way. If nothing else, hopefully they will be entertaining.

What I hope you get out of reading my blog

At the very least I hope you get a laugh out of this blog once in a while. Life can be tough and if you can’t learn to laugh about it, you’re going to have a hard time managing. I hope my stories will bring you the occasional inspiration. I think we can all benefit a little bit from each other’s triumphs and feats in life. I feel like there is a lesson for me to learn around every corner and if I can share those lessons in a way that touches you, I will be happy. And finally if you are a close friend or family member you might get out of an hour long conversation on the phone with me just by logging on and checking this out. Because all my rants and bitching will already be here and I will no longer have anything else to say. You’re welcome.

Shout outs!

I want to dedicate this blog to my two daughters Caleyn and Harlee. They both keep life interesting by driving me crazy and simultaneously reminding me how beautiful life is. Through them I realize everyday how much I really have to be thankful for. To my boyfriend who supports me and all my crazy ideas. He has given me the roots I have been desperately been seeking for a while now. I am so glad I have finally found my stay put place in life. And finally, I’ve got to give much thanks to God. He always saves me when I don’t deserve it and always has my back. I have a habit of repeating the same bad decisions over and over and making a mess of my life but he is there when I come running. He cleans up the mess, wipes my tears, and encourages me to keep on swimming. I owe him everything.

There are the basics. I have made a commitment to post at least once a week. All that said, I hope you all enjoy and keep on stopping by!